An Idiot's Guide to Gibbs
by DiNozzos probie
Summary: Tony wakes up following the events of "Agent Idiot" and can't believe the direction his life has taken. Was it just another dream, or are his dreams finally coming true? And why isn't Gibbs freaking out? This should only be two chapters, unless my muse goes nuts again. Enjoy! No beta, so all mistakes are mine.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: By popular demand (okay, 3 or 4 people politely requested), here is the sequel to "Agent Idiot". You don't have to read "Agent Idiot" for this to make sense, but it might help. Hope y'all like it.

Again, dedicated to the inspiration for this fic, Ms. Catherine Nelson a/k/a CackyMN! Smishes to you, my dear friend!

* * *

"An Idiot's Guide to Gibbs"

(or "What The Actual Hell?")

Tony woke with the rising sun to find himself trapped in some bizarre parallel universe, or maybe he was dreaming that he was stranded on "Fantasy Island". He could have been beamed up to an alien spaceship for all he knew! Those were the only plausible explanations why a very naked and somewhat aroused Leroy Jethro Gibbs was asleep in his bed, spooned up behind him murmuring his name.

The yelp he bit back after pinching himself caused his bed mate to roll onto his back and mumble something unintelligible. _'Okay,_ _ **not**_ _dreaming'_. Tony lay stock still and waited for Gibbs to settle back into sleep. He needed to think, but first he really needed to pee. Free of Gibbs' hold, and with as much stealth as he could muster, Tony slid out from under the covers mortified to find that he was also naked as the day he was born.

"What the actual hell?" Tony pondered as flashes of fantastical memories began to trickle in. He looked down at a supine Gibbs, who managed to look both smug and sexy. Bastard! A bashful smile grew on Tony's lips; indeed, something amazing happened.

He tiptoed the short distance to the bathroom and closed the door with the slightest snick possible. Blinking against the harsh blaze of the overhead vanity lighting, Tony dialed the dimmer down to a less painful setting. After a brief stop to relieve his bladder, he turned and gasped upon seeing his reflection in the mirror.

Tony was used to extreme bed head with his hair sticking up all over the place. It was the price he paid for using quality styling products. He was also used to the dark whiskers, with a few hints of gray sprinkled in, that sprouted on his cheeks and chin during the night, but what he saw in the mirror this particular morning was definitely out of the ordinary. Angry purple hickeys and a few very distinct bite marks peppered his stomach and one deeper bite mark stood out in sharp relief on his inner thigh. Pivoting left then right, he was introduced to a matching pair of love bites just below his collar bone on each side.

His hand flew up to check his carotid pulse. Feeling the rapid flutter beneath his fingertips, Tony only knew one thing for certain; Gibbs was NOT a vampire! After a splash of cold water to his face, Tony leaned over the sink and stared at his reflection, hoping somehow it had answers to the questions bouncing around in his head. His reflection remained mute and blinked back at him as water dripped from his chin into the basin.

As much as he wanted to return to his warm bed for a few more hours of sleep or cuddling or whatever the hell Gibbs had planned, Tony opted instead to take a long hot shower. He _really_ needed to think.

Stepping back from the mirror his eyes landed on the patch of gauze on his right calf. He carefully peeled off the dressing and examined the neat little line of sutures. How could he have forgotten nearly having his leg blown off? He chalked it up to McGee dosing him with the painkillers he had not planned on taking. In the grand scheme of things it was a very minor injury. Paper cuts hurt worse, but had the young gunman had better aim, or aimed at all, he may not have gotten off so lucky.

Standing under the cascading water, Tony closed his eyes and let his mind take him back to last night. Once again it had been Gibbs to the rescue, only this time it was to save him from himself. Tony tried to make sense of yesterday's fragmented timeline of events, but a few pieces of the puzzle were missing. The evening had gone from being sure that Gibbs was there to fire his drunk ass, to Gibbs sobering him up and offering him everything his heart desired, to falling into bed and being thoroughly and completely possessed by the man. In the span of two, five, ten, who the hell knew how many hours, his whole life had been turned upside down.

The pulsing massage of hot water soothed his aching muscles as he ran a body wash covered cloth over his skin in a lazy, well-practiced pattern. A snorted laugh escaped as the realization that he was in way over his head set in. He also knew that he owed McGee the mother of all head slaps, and quite possibly a five-star steak dinner.

Startled, Tony nearly slipped on the wet tile when he heard the bathroom door open followed by deliberate footsteps and the unmistakable sound of the toilet lid hitting the porcelain tank.

"Oh shit!" he yelped, managing to steady himself to avoid potential disaster.

"Just me, DiNozzo," Gibbs announced, with nothing in his gravelly morning voice to indicate even a modicum of awkwardness or embarrassment.

Humming nervously, Tony quickly shampooed and conditioned his hair while trying not to think about Gibbs taking a piss just a few feet away. He let out a pronounced hiss as the water turned painfully hot when Gibbs flushed the toilet. Tony quickly turned off the shower and yanked down the towel hanging over the frosted glass shower door. He heard Gibbs at the sink washing his hands.

"Want breakfast?" Gibbs asked on his way out of the bathroom, still sounding like barging into Tony's bathroom stark naked while he was in the shower was the most natural thing in the world.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Bo..., um, Gibbs. Be out in a sec," Tony replied, trying to hold onto a shred of modesty. He was a hedonist, not an exhibitionist. Tony paused for a second to piece together fragments of their late night pillow talk. Wait, didn't Gibbs say something to him as he drifted off to sleep about breakfast in bed, and ... oh Lord!

Hair styled, leg wound redressed with a dab of Vaseline, gauze, and a Band Aid, clad in his favorite worn and comfy jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt with "NAVY" emblazoned across the chest, Tony padded out to the kitchen a few minutes later with a pair of tube socks clutched in his hand.

Much like Gibbs making himself at home the night before, lounging in his chair and drinking his top shelf scotch, Tony was taken aback by how comfortable the man seemed to be rummaging around in his kitchen. He leaned over the island, resting his forearms on the granite top, and watched as Gibbs perused his cupboards and fridge. For what exactly, he had no idea.

"Uh, looking for something Boss?" Tony asked, scratching the itchy whiskers along his jawline.

Gibbs let the fridge door slam shut and turned to Tony. He cocked his head and leveled a grin at him. Tony's eyebrows shot up at the almost predatory look on his face.

"Thought I'd fix us some breakfast, but that's gonna be a little hard to do without any food in the house. Grab your gear and we'll go out. My treat," Gibbs declared.

Tony blindly thumbed over his shoulder in the direction of the hall.

"Don't you wanna grab a shower first?"

Still grinning, Gibbs rounded the island and came to a stop well within Tony's personal space. Tony's stomach growled.

"Nah. I'll grab one later. Right now, _I_ need coffee, and by the sound of it I'm guessing _you_ need pancakes."

He pecked Tony on lips and headed toward the door whistling a little tune and jingling his car keys in his hand.

"This has got to be a joke," an astonished Tony mumbled under his breath as he pulled on his socks.

Tony shook his head then turned and followed; on Gibbs' six as always, without question. He stopped at the entryway long enough to slip on his running shoes; he'd tie them in the car. He caught up to Gibbs just as the doors to the elevator at the end of the hallway opened.

* * *

The IHOP was only a ten minute drive, but to Tony the ride felt like an hour. He was having trouble with how Gibbs was acting like it was any normal day, while he sat there staring out the window trying to think of something semi-intelligent to say. Was he overthinking what happened? After all, it _was_ Gibbs who made the first move. The man didn't do anything by half measure, so Tony couldn't help but wonder if last night was truly the beginning of something wonderful and beyond his wildest dreams. His numerous erotic fantasies had been put to shame by the heat, the passion, and Gibbs' seemingly single-minded determination to possess him body and soul. Tony felt the heat rising on his cheeks and a familiar stirring south of his belt buckle.

Gibbs switched off the ignition and unbuckled his seat belt. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the look of wonder on Tony's face. It wasn't pensive or guarded. Tony looked almost bashful, but for the first time in a very long time he also looked happy. It was a good look on him.

"Hey!" Gibbs said quietly. When he had Tony's attention, he cocked his head and furrowed his brow. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah - m'fine. Just, you know, thinking," Tony replied.

Gibbs cracked a half grin. "Don't think too much." Jerking his head toward the restaurant, he said, "C'mon."

Denise, a perky young redhead, poured them coffee and took their orders; steak and eggs with a side of hash browns for Gibbs and, as promised, a stack of buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, wheat toast, with an extra side of bacon for Tony. Gibbs rolled his eyes when Denise coquettishly tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and batted her eyelashes at Tony over her shoulder as she walked away. Tony shrugged.

Sipping their coffee with the clanking of dishes and muted chatter surrounding them, the new lovers shared a surprisingly comfortable silence. They had a lot to talk about, but both men seemed content for the moment to stare out the window and watch the traffic go by.

After hazarding a look around to make sure they were alone, at least for the moment, Tony was the first to break the silence.

"Hey Gibbs, can I ask you something?"

Gibbs took a long sip before nodding in the affirmative.

"You can ask me anything. What's on your mind?"

Tony slid forward in his seat and leaned closer to Gibbs over the booth's Formica table.

"Couple of things, actually. One, why _did_ you come over last night? I mean, it's not like I needed concussion checks or anything like that. And, even if I did, McGee was already there. And two, are you sure about this?"

Gibbs took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He needed to choose his words carefully. With Tony's insecurities rising to the surface, nothing but total honesty would get through to allay them. Anything less, and there was a good chance that Tony would bolt.

"Abby called me. Said McGee needed my help because you were having a panic attack. They were both worried about you."

"Panic attack. There's an understatement," Tony groused.

Gibbs chuckled.

"And it's a damn good thing I showed up when I did! I know better than anyone how you are on painkillers. Been there enough times. Not sure McGee could have handled you."

Tony dropped his head in his hands and groaned. He had heard a few horror stories about past lewd conduct when he was heavily medicated. It was a well-known fact that strong narcotics and Tony did not mix! Poor long-suffering Gibbs, always the one called in to deal with him whenever he was in a drug-addled state. All of Tony's most adolescent, sexually charged antics were brought to the surface, magnified by a power of ten.

When he finally looked up, Tony found himself being assessed by a pair of calm cobalt blue eyes. They held no judgment, only twinkles of affection. They ended up locked in a staring contest until Denise showed up with their orders and a thermal carafe of fresh coffee. Her gasp broke the spell. Obviously aware that she was intruding on an intimate moment, Denise stammered out an apology as she placed their breakfasts in front of them before scampering away.

"Didn't even get to say thank you," Tony said with a chuckle, while pouring a generous amount of warm maple syrup over his pancakes.

Gibbs allowed Tony to take a few bites before speaking.

"And to answer your second question, yes - I'm sure. As for what happens next, I guess that's up to you."

Tony dropped his fork and looked Gibbs dead in the eye.

"Me? I told you I'll take whatever you can give me. At least that's what I think I said. A few things about last night are still a little fuzzy. But you didn't run for the hills last night or this morning, so ..." Tony said with a shrug. He picked up a strip of crispy bacon and bit off half of it.

"And I told _you_ that I wasn't looking for a fling. When I said I could give you everything, I meant it. We don't have to decide anything right this second. But, if last night was all you wanted or needed from me ...".

Tony interrupted before Gibbs could finish.

"No! I want more, a lot more. I want you, now and for as long as I can have you. I just need to make sure we're on the same page here. McGee, that silly son of a bitch, called me out saying that I was crushing on you. That's why I had the panic attack in the first place! Everything happened so fast after that; you showed up, and I gotta say I'm still a little freaked out. So, um, where _do_ we go from here?"

Gibbs' hand shot across the table and grabbed Tony's in a vice-like grip before he could pull it away.

"First we finish breakfast, then maybe, I don't know, spend some time together this weekend? Your place, my place, I don't care where. I don't care what we do as long as we talk. After that, we take it one day at a time," Gibbs replied, rubbing his thumb gently over Tony's knuckles.

With his voice barely above a whisper, Tony asked, "And Monday at work? I don't know about you, but there's no way I can just walk in and act like nothing happened and nothing's changed; that I'm not the luckiest guy on the whole damn planet. I mean, McGee's gonna have a million questions, and Abby ... oh Christ, she'll know - she always knows!"

"Ducky, too," Gibbs confessed just before a forkful of golden hash browns disappeared into his mouth. At Tony's look of horror, he chewed, swallowed, and said, "Calm down, he's known for a while."

Tony couldn't stop a nervous laugh from erupting, but it was okay - neither could Gibbs.

Shaking his head, Tony asked, "Have we been that obvious? You know there's no way we can avoid them forever."

"Yeah, well we'll have to tell them something. We agreed last night not to announce anything, at least for now, but I'm not going to lie to anyone or hide from this. If anyone asks we can just tell them that we're together or dating, and that's all they need to know," Gibbs stated simply.

Tony smiled and the butterflies in his stomach took flight. Maybe this was the warm and fuzzy feeling Abby always talked about. He picked up his fork and pointed at Gibbs with it.

"You know, McGee's probably at Abby's place right now. You wanna drop in on them for a little chat? You know, a preemptive strike to buy their silence or threaten them or something? Hey, we can stop and pick up McBusted's favorite donuts or something on the way, you know, to bribe him!"

* * *

Tony was right. McGee's Porsche was parked in front of Abby's house. Gibbs cut the engine and coasted to a stop behind it.

"You sure about this?" Gibbs asked, wanting or maybe hoping that Tony had changed his mind. He knew that Abby would be over the moon, but he also knew that she would demand all of the sordid details.

Tony leaned across the bench seat to peer out the driver's side window, looking for any signs of activity in the cozy suburban cottage Abby called home. Gibbs took the opportunity to breathe in the scent of his shampoo. Tony slid back into his seat when a flannel robed McGee, looking like he had just rolled out of bed, opened the front door to retrieve the newspaper from the walk leading to the street.

"Too late to back out now," Tony said in response to a gaping McGee's wave in their direction.

Tony followed Gibbs up the walk. Half way to the front steps they encountered McGee, who nervously shuffled his slippered feet and appeared to be looking for an escape route.

"Uh, morning Boss, Tony," McGee stammered, squinting against the bright morning sun, as he tucked the Saturday morning edition of the Post under his right arm.

"McGee," Gibbs replied in a dangerously low register.

"Good morning, Probie," Tony chirped. "Here. We brought donuts."

Tony shoved a pastry box into McGee's hands, then clamped a firm hand down on his shoulder. He turned McGee and gave him a gentle shove toward the steps.

"Get your ass in the house. We got a few things to talk about."

Gibbs chuckled at McGee's expression of terror until he saw Abby, wearing only a long black Brain Matter t-shirt, watching the trio approach from the other side of the screen door. He fixed a murderous glare on McGee, who tripped up the steps in his haste to get to safety. Abby fumbled to put on and belt a short silk robe.

Tony being there was the only reason McGee wasn't currently lying unconscious on the front lawn. Gibbs knew that Abby and McGee were off-again on-again lovers, but that didn't mean he wanted to see McGee anywhere near a half-naked Abby!

Abby excitedly waved the trio inside, sure that several of her nosy neighbors were watching. The neighborhood ladies, the church pastor's wife among them, were a tight knit group of canasta and bridge players that had a Bible verse for every occasion. Witnessing three men entering Abby's house together would provide plenty of fodder for their next gossip-filled coffee klatch. They were a prim, proper, judgmental, and quick to condemn bunch of self-righteous harpies that lived to gossip.

"Get in here before they see you," Abby implored.

Closing the front door to block prying eyes, Abby flung herself at Gibbs and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. Tony was able to sidestep and avoid being subjected to a similar assault. McGee couldn't have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.

"Good morning, Gibbs … Tony," Abby greeted, looking every bit the picture of innocence. "What brings you here, _together_ , on a Saturday morning? You got a new case or something? You could have just called, you know. Are you feeling better today, Tony?"

"You know damn well why we're here!" Gibbs barked. Tony snorted.

Gibbs continued to shoot daggers at McGee, who made a break for the kitchen with the box of donuts. With McGee gone, he turned his attention to Abby and gave her a disapproving fatherly look.

Tony decided to leave Gibbs to deal with Abby and went in search of his intended mark. He strode into the kitchen to find his quarry fumbling to set up Abby's Mr. Coffee. A tap on McGee's shoulder had him nearly jumping out of his skin.

"Jesus Tony! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?" McGee yelped, clutching his chest.

Tony backed McGee up against the small kitchen table. In the most menacing voice he could muster while trying not to laugh, Tony said, "Call it payback, McDumbass."

When Tony took a couple of steps back, McGee managed to scamper a few feet only to find himself literally backed into a corner. McGee knew that Tony could kill him 10 different ways right then and there, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. Accepting his fate, he offered up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay, okay! Look Tony, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm really, really sorry," McGee stammered.

"You're sorry? Sorry for what, McGee? For dosing me or for calling Gibbs?"

"Yes, both, I guess. I dunno. What do you want me to say? You looked like you were in pain so I gave you your meds. And yeah, I guess it was the wrong thing to do since you did have a couple of drinks. Gibbs already chewed me out for that, but I'm sorry anyway. Then when you freaked out and couldn't breathe I got scared. I didn't know what else to do, so I called Abby. She's the one who sent Gibbs over, not me!"

Tony fought with all he had to keep a smirk from breaking out on his lips. He failed. McGee stood like a deer in the headlights. Tony clamped both hands down on his shoulders and grinned.

"Oh Probie, Probie, Probie. What to do with you? Gibbs won't let me shoot you; I asked. So, how about - you do all of my reports for say the next three months? _And_ you get to buy me a large coffee every morning, and I don't mean the crappy break room stuff. I want my usual from Starbucks or the coffee kiosk at work. You know how I take my coffee. That sound fair? To be honest, I think I'm going pretty easy on you. Or, we could put on the gloves, get in the ring, and I could beat the shit out of you. Your choice."

McGee's eyes went wide and he swallowed hard. There really was only one right answer. He cleared his throat and mumbled out, "Fine. I'll do your reports - and bring you coffee. But dammit Tony …."

"No, no, no! You don't get to 'but Tony' me," Tony retorted. He loomed over a cowering McGee and snarled, "And if you ever even _think_ about doing something stupid like dosing me again, well, even Gibbs won't be able to keep me from killing you. You hear me?"

Tony stood up, looked to his left, then back at McGee with a smirk. "Coffee's ready."

"So, tell me everything. I want details, Gibbs," Abby requested in her sultry, teasing voice.

Gibbs backed her down with a glare and a slow shake of his head.

"You will get nothing and like it," he chided.

"Oh come on, Gibbs! I know you and Tony spent the night together. Why else would you _both_ be here early on a Saturday morning? Huh? Something happened, and if you don't tell me Tony will. I have ways of finding these things out, you know," Abby replied proudly.

"I'm not telling you a damn thing," Tony announced as he walked into the room with McGee, still clutching the box of donuts, lagging a safe distance behind and handed Gibbs a large mug of coffee.

"Here. McGee made it, so if it sucks yell at him."

Gibbs half-grinned at Tony in lieu of a thank you. It still had the same effect; Tony beamed back at him. A few feet away, Abby bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, clapped her hands, and squeed.

"Oh my God, you guys are so totally adorable!"

Gibbs and Tony groaned. McGee rolled his eyes and bit into a raspberry jelly filled donut.

Forty five minutes and two pots of coffee later, McGee, shaking from the effects of too much caffeine and sugar, and Abby were swearing on all they held dear that absolutely no one would find out from them what transpired last night or that Gibbs and Tony were now, officially, involved.

Gibbs wasn't shy about breaking the news to them that he and Tony were now dating. Even though Abby pressed for details, the x-rated parts were left out.

"What Tony and I do or don't do is none of your or anyone else's damn business. Just leave it alone, will 'ya?"

"But Boss, what about work?" McGee asked.

"What about it?"

"Um, um, um …"

Abby interrupted. "Gibbs, I think what Timmy is trying to say is, will things change at work now that you and Tony are sleeping together?"

"Oh dear God," McGee said with a pained groan.

Tony got up and retrieved some paper towels to blot up the coffee he spit out all over the table.

To everyone's surprise, Gibbs just grinned over the rim of his coffee mug.

Regaining his composure, Tony spoke up.

"Nothing, not one single thing changes at work. Gibbs is still the boss and I'm not expecting any special treatment. In fact, I suspect I'll be getting smacked even more than usual. And as far as everyone knows, and dammit Abby I mean it, everything at work is the same as it was yesterday. That means you don't tell anyone anything, especially Ziva or Vance, and you two don't discuss us at work - _ever_. No one needs to know anything, and so help me if I find out either one of you blabs to anyone I _will_ beat the living shit out of 'Timmy'!"

That got a chuckle out of Gibbs.

"Now, anything either of you two want to say? If you have a problem, this is your one and only chance to speak up. Won't change anything, but let's hear it," Gibbs offered.

McGee noticed that both Tony and Gibbs were looking intently at him, so he responded, "You don't have to worry about me. I'm not saying anything - not that anyone would believe me anyway. Look, as long as it doesn't get in the way of us doing our jobs, I'm cool and I'm happy for you. Really. No problem. But I guess now maybe Tony can stop accusing _me_ of being gay all the time? Seems kinda like projection now, don't you think?" He glowered at Tony.

"Fair enough, McGoo. No more jokes about you using feminine body lotion or getting manicures," Tony replied with a smirk. "And for the record, I'm not gay and neither is Gibbs. I think the word you're looking for is bisexual."

Abby raised her hand and waited to be called on.

"Yes, Abby?" Gibbs prompted with a tired sigh.

"I just wanna say that it's about time you two finally got together. We all think so, or at least Timmy and I do. I've always thought you would be incredibly hot together, but now seeing you like this, well, it's kind of adorable. Sorry it took Tony getting shot for you two to figure it out. Promise me you'll be good and not hurt each other? Seriously, I love you both and I want you to be happy. So, do me a favor and don't do anything to screw it up!"

* * *

"Oh my God! Ha ha ha … did you see the look on McGee's face? I was sure he was going to wet himself," Tony said amid a fit of giggles.

Next to him, Gibbs had a death grip on the steering wheel and his right foot mashed to the floor. The needle of the speedometer spun clockwise while trees and utility poles passed by in a blur. Tony absently checked his seatbelt to make sure it was snug, and kept a tight grip on the "oh shit" handle.

He rambled on about everything and nothing the entire 20 minute drive to Gibbs' house, and he was still talking when the Challenger came to a rather abrupt stop in the driveway just inches from the back bumper of Gibbs' old Ford pick up truck. Gibbs remained mute as he lead Tony up the front steps and into the house.

As soon as they were inside, Gibbs kicked the door shut, grabbed Tony by the arm, spun him around, backed him up against the door, and kissed him soundly before he could say 'boo'. By the time Gibbs finally released him, Tony was dizzy but quiet. If possessive kissing is what it would take to shut him up, Gibbs was completely on board. So was Tony.

"Wow Gibbs," Tony declared dreamily.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, I'm trying something a little different with this chapter. The first part, as noted, is going to be from Ziva's point of view as she tries to figure out what is going on with Gibbs and Tony. Something is really off, and she decides to test her investigative skills to figure it out. The rest of it, after the break line, is just Tony and Gibbs being, well, Tibbs!

I really didn't plan on writing a second chapter to this, but Ziva and Vance had to find out at some point, right? So, here's my lighthearted take on that.

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable people or places. I am making no money from this work of fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Warning: Mature, explicit content! You have been warned. If you are under 18 or you're not into that kind of thing, please back out now! Also, no beta so sorry for silly typos.

I appreciate reviews and comments, but please don't waste your time or mine by flaming. I hope y'all will enjoy!

Once again, dedicated to CackyMN for reasons she knows well. :)

* * *

Ziva's POV:

"Good morning, Tony. Good morning, Gibbs," Ziva greeted Monday morning as Tony and Gibbs exited the elevator together and rounded the corner into the bullpen. Something was off, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She eyed Tony suspiciously. Why was he here? Last she knew, he had been benched.

Tony was in lockstep beside Gibbs instead of two steps back and to the right like he normally was when on Gibbs' six. Both men looked more relaxed that she could ever remember, and they seemed to be in the middle of a friendly conversation. Gibbs appeared to be amused by whatever Tony was telling him and chuckled. Gibbs, a man with no known sense of humor, chuckled! They broke off their conversation with exchanged grins and headed to their respective desks.

"Zee-vah," Tony replied with a beaming fake smile as his go bag slid down his arm to drop into its customary spot behind his desk.

"Ziver," Gibbs muttered, slamming his desk drawer shut after dropping his Sig into it. The half-grin he leveled at her was new and a little disarming.

She hazarded a quick glance at McGee, who nearly knocked his coffee over in an attempt to look as busy as possible. While steadying the styrofoam travel cup, he knocked the receiver off of his desk phone. Was it McGee's turn to have a disaster week, Ziva wondered.

"Are you feeling okay today, Tony? Did Gibbs manage to kick some sense into you?" Ziva asked while still keeping a wary eye on McGee.

"Ha ha. You mean knock. It's "knock some sense into me", and the answer is yes, yes he did. And I am fine by the way, thank you very much. Right, McGee?," Tony called out.

McGee's head jerked up and he yelled, "How the hell would I know?"

"Chill, Probie," Tony replied in a soft, calming voice, fighting to hide a growing smirk.

"DiNozzo, leave him alone," Gibbs warned over the top of his reading glasses. Out of the corner of her eye, Ziva noticed that he was also attempting to hide a smirk.

"Sorry Boss. Shutting up."

Ziva narrowed her eyes. Something had changed since last week, but what? The walls, floors, and the glaring skylight were all the same. The constant din of conversation, ringing telephones, the whir and beeps of fax machines and copiers were all the same. The bullpen layout had not changed, yet something was very different. There was now a weird vibe hanging over the bullpen.

Tony was no longer the complete bumbling, stumbling idiot of the previous week, and she was determined to find out why. He had transformed back into the confident and competent man she had known for years. Something had to have transpired between the time Gibbs suspended him on Friday and this morning, but what?

Possessing an assassin's patience, she would sit and wait; bide her time and test her powers of observation. The investigation she would undertake would not involve a dead petty officer or Marine. In fact, Ziva suspected that all of the off-kilter behavior was due to a case of a more personal nature.

She had been trained to hunt and track quarry from a young age. As an Israeli Jew growing up amid almost daily violence it was a matter of survival. But instead of hunting game she had been trained to hunt people, enemies who had for generations wished to see her people annihilated. With her mastery of firearms and tactical weapons, bladed weapons, and all forms of hand-to-hand combat, slight, wiry Ziva was positively lethal. All of these skills served her well as an elite assassin in Mossad's elite Kidon unit.

Leaving Israel to work as Mossad's liaison officer at NCIS in the United States, however, had been a culture shock and there had been a steep learning curve. It was not easy going from government trained assassin to civilian investigator. The structure was different; rules and regulations stymied her at every turn. Gone were the days of shoot first and ask questions later, assuming the target survived. Those tactics were no longer allowed thanks to due process and the alleged bad guys having rights.

It took several months before Ziva felt part of the team. It went against her nature to trust and be trusted in return. She was expected to work with and protect a team. No one was considered expendable like they were in Mossad, where there was always a well-trained person willing and able to take the place of a fallen comrade.

Ziva had always admired and respected Gibbs. His legend and leadership was unequaled and unquestioned. She pushed back against Tony, who she found through dossier research and personal experience to be highly competent but childish and annoying. How could she be subordinate to and take direction from a man who, by all outward appearances, was nothing more than an overgrown adolescent. Tim McGee would be an easy mark and someone she could cultivate to be a valuable asset. If handled carefully, he could be utilized to garner favor with Gibbs and to exploit Tony's perceived weaknesses.

It wasn't long into their first case together that Ziva realized just how much she had underestimated Tony DiNozzo. He had literally put his life on the line to save hers or, more accurately, to protect her undercover identity. For all of his antics, Tony DiNozzo proved her wrong at every turn. Case after case, Tony showed exactly why he was such an asset to the team. Her resolve to undermine him began to dissolve. She could definitely learn a thing or two from him.

Ziva learned to be more guarded around Abby and Ducky, who eyed her with suspicion from the first day she was named a probationary member of the MCRT. Director Shepard had warned her that Gibbs was a tough bastard and that she would need to tread carefully and learn "the rules" - his rules - from him. Her attitude of superiority over the "soft Americans" would get her nowhere on Team Gibbs. Jenny's death and replacement by Leon Vance as Director should have been an easy transition. Ziva knew that Vance and her father had a history going back many years, and she tried to play that to her advantage whenever the opportunity arose.

Under Tony's patient tutelage, Ziva learned to identify and collect physical and forensic evidence, spitball ideas and theories with the team, conduct witness interviews, and follow up on leads, but without an investigator's innate intuition she struggled to put all the evidence together to solve a case. Working closely with Tony as her partner Ziva had a good understanding of his mannerisms. He was a walking contradiction. Around Gibbs he was often a bit skittish and always eager to please, but in the field he was cocky and confident. He took great pride in being Gibbs' Senior Field Agent. On a case he was all business, only falling back on humor and general silliness when things got too intense. His more sophomoric side came out when he was bored and felt that McGee needed a bit of hazing to toughen him up. Recently, though, he had become oddly coy about his personal life.

Tony used to stroll into the bullpen every Monday morning to regale them all with the unsolicited sordid details of his latest conquest. Very little was ever left to the imagination. Gibbs' usual reaction would be to bark at Tony to get to work while he went for coffee or escaped to Abby's lab or Autopsy.

That was what had changed!

Tony still strolled into the bullpen every Monday, but he was more reserved. Gone was the boastful swagger of his over the top grand entrance, and he hadn't gone on about any new women in his life for weeks. In fact, he rarely said more than, "Good morning, my darling probies" as he powered up his computer and set to work.

For his part, Gibbs hadn't been as quick to lash out at Tony for bullpen shenanigans. He was more patient with him and oddly attentive. He accomplished more to correct Tony with a stern look and warning growl than he did doling out the customary head slaps. It was strange that Tony wasn't even giving Gibbs any reason to smack him.

Ziva had watched and listened for clues. They were everywhere, but subtle. She observed looks and secret smiles, whispers, and noticed a sharp increase in the number of elevator meetings between Gibbs and Tony. The alcove behind the staircase leading up to MTAC had been Ziva's favorite place to think and decide on her next move. Ziva remembered that this was where Tony used to disappear to when taking or making clandestine phone calls during the whole Jeanne Benoit debacle.

After weeks of covert observation, Ziva leaned back in her chair and looked from Gibbs to Tony to McGee, who seemed more nervous and jumpier than he had in a long time. She found it odd that McGee could no longer look her in the eye. In fact, he seemed to make a point of avoiding her. Yes, McGee definitely knew something, but what?

It struck her that everyone on Team Gibbs had become very secretive. They still processed crime scenes, tracked down leads, and closed cases, but the team's interactions had changed. Only Gibbs carried on in his normal functional mute, stoic way. Tony was more focused than he had been in years past.

Ziva had always harbored suspicions about Gibbs and Tony, but to date she had never dared voice them. Everytime she thought she had proof of a personal relationship between them, one or both of them would have a new woman in their life. Her studies of the detailed dossiers assembled on each of her teammates had shed light on some rather strange proclivities, but nothing to suggest there could possibly be a romantic entanglement between her boss and her partner. With Gibbs' multiple failed marriages and Tony's ongoing quest to sleep with half of Washington, D.C., it couldn't be possible, could it?

She didn't have to wait long for an opportunity to question McGee to confirm her suspicions. A morning filled with paperwork, filing, and reviewing reports spilled over into the afternoon. Without getting called out on a case, boredom ruled the day. Tony smiled and hummed while he worked on case reports, and seemed to be on Cloud Nine all day. For some reason, he kept smirking in McGee's direction. For his part, McGee munched on Tums like he was dealing with the beginning of an ulcer. By 2300, Tony had received two verbal warnings to quit playing games on his phone and one gentler than usual head slap for daydreaming.

"Snap out of it, DiNozzo," Gibbs barked. "I'm going for coffee. Any of you want anything? I'm buying."

Rarely was Gibbs in such a generous mood, so everyone took advantage of it. A green tea with lemon for Ziva, a skinny half-caf caramel macchiato for McGee, and a large "heavy on the hazelnut double-shot medium roast with extra whipped cream and a dusting of cinnamon" frothy concoction for Tony, who placed his order with a surreptitious wink and a toothy smile. Gibbs stood and blinked down at Tony while trying to commit the orders to memory. Tony took pity on him and jotted it all down on the back of a pink phone message slip from the pad on his desk. Gibbs had to wonder if he was the only person alive who drank regular black coffee.

With Gibbs gone, tension in the bullpen grew thick. Tony could feel the intensity of Ziva's stare upon him. She had been staring and shooting odd looks his way for weeks and it was starting to freak him out. The scrutiny got to be too much, and after several minutes, he excused himself to go hide out in Abby's lab.

As soon as Tony was out of sight, Ziva rose from her seat and looked around to make sure there were no prying eyes. She sauntered over to McGee's desk and smiled sweetly at him, leaving McGee looking like a deer in the headlights.

"What is going on, McGee?" Ziva asked in a sultry voice.

"Go … going on? Whadya mean?" McGee stammered as he rolled his desk chair back.

Ziva rounded McGee's desk, and for a very brief moment McGee wondered if she was going to sit on his lap. She moved in close enough that he could feel her breath on his face.

"Tony and Gibbs, that is what," she replied in his ear. "Something is going on, and you are going to tell me what it is."

McGee, in a rare display of courage, took a deep breath and replied, "If you want to know what's going on with Tony or Gibbs, you're gonna have to ask them yourself. I don't know anything, and I'm not saying anything."

"Hmmm … perhaps I shall speak to Abby," Ziva pondered aloud while tapping an index finger to her chin. "If anything hinky is going on, she will know."

As Ziva made her way back to her desk, McGee called out, "Like I said, ask Tony or Gibbs. I dare you."

Tony and Gibbs returned at the same time bringing any further awkward exchange to a halt. Neither of them could figure out why Ziva looked perplexed and sullen while McGee looked like someone had just kicked his dog.

Ziva nodded a thank you to Gibbs and sipped her tea. She watched as Tony took a coffee from the carrier Gibbs had placed on his desk and delivered it to McGee. Tony leaned down to speak to McGee, and Ziva could barely make out what he was saying. Good thing she knew rudimentary lip reading!

"Everything okay, Probie?" Tony asked. He looked concerned.

"Yeah, Tony, everything's fine. Um, give me a minute then you, uh, might want to check your email," McGee replied with a nod.

"Email. Sure," Tony said as he pulled himself to his full height and walked to his desk. A few seconds later his email program pinged that he had a new message.

Ziva couldn't see it, but she was pretty sure it read something like, _"You better talk to Z. I think she's figured it out. She's been acting strange and asked me about it. I didn't tell her anything."_

Tony looked over to McGee and jerked his chin up in acknowledgment.

Ziva's email pinged a few minutes later, startling her from the report she was working on. She opened the new email from Di_Nozzo .gov. It read: _"Z, if you want to know something ask. Leave McG alone, T."_

* * *

Ziva looked up to see Tony pinning her in place with a dark, brooding look. She nodded, then nearly jumped out of her seat when Gibbs jumped into action.

"Grab your gear!" Gibbs barked then threw his notepad at McGee. He holstered his Sig and announced, "Dead Marine at Quantico. McGee, call Ducky and give him the details. DiNozzo, gas the truck. Ziver, you ride with DiNozzo. McGee, you're with me."

Tony followed Gibbs, making sure not to let him get too far ahead. Once out of city traffic, he hazarded at sideways look at Ziva.

"Ziva, just ask. We all know you're up to something. I've seen you sneaking around and spying on us, so spill," Tony demanded.

"Have I been that obvious?" Ziva asked.

Tony snorted.

"Let's just say it's not your best investigative tool. Trust me, it takes years of practice to become one with the scenery. So, what is it you want to know?"

There was a long awkward pause before Ziva found her courage and her voice.

"Okay, Tony. Is there something between you and Gibbs that is more than just friends and co-workers?"

Tony grinned.

"Boy, not real subtle are you? Just … bam, right to the point. Look, the short answer is yes, Gibbs and I are more than friends. That's all I'm gonna say about it."

"How long? Tony, as your partner, at least at work, I think I have a right to know," Ziva stated.

Tony shrugged.

"Few weeks. It was right after I got shot. Gibbs came over to check on me. I thought he came over to fire me, but he ended up taking care of me instead. McGee, the idiot, gave me painkillers after I had a couple of drinks. I was totally wasted and things, you know, happened. And that's really all I'm going to say!"

Miles of scenery went by before Ziva spoke again.

"Ok, thank you for telling me Tony."

"That's it, okay thanks?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded in response.

Tony turned onto the base and followed Gibbs' car up to the guard gate. After clearing security, Tony parked the MCRT truck at the edge of the taped-off crime scene, put it in park and switched off the ignition. Before Ziva could unbuckle her seatbelt, Tony grabbed her arm gently.

"Is this going to be a problem? Me and Gibbs, I mean? I'm not sure how we got here or why, but it is what it is and I've never been happier. I know there are probably regs against it that we'll have to deal with. Not looking forward to the heart attack Vance will probably have."

Ziva smiled at Tony.

"Tony, do not worry about Director Vance. I do not have a problem as long as you and Gibbs are happy. I can only assume that McGee and probably Abby already know?"

Tony nodded.

"Yeah. I'll tell you all about it some other time, but they've known for a while. Longer than Gibbs and I have, actually. Ducky knows too, or so I've been informed. Look, we weren't really trying to keep it from you. It's just, you know, we have to be careful because of work and Vance. I'm sorry if you think we were keeping a secret from you," Tony said.

"It is okay, Tony. I understand. I will tell no one, especially Director Vance, you have my word. I wish you could have trusted me, but I know now and that is okay. Now, we better get to work. Gibbs does not look happy with us right now," Ziva pointed out the driver's side window. Gibbs stood waiting impatiently for them to join him.

Tony opened the driver's door and stepped out of the truck beaming at Gibbs.

"Glad you two could finally join us, DiNozzo," Gibbs snarked. "Tony, sketch and shoot. Ziver, bag and tag. McGee, with me to get witness statements."

Tony snapped a series of photos while Ziva placed shell casings into evidence bags.

A young Marine had been shot and killed just inside the base's gates on his return from leave. He had only made it a few yards from his car when he was ambushed by at least two assailants. He appeared to have suffered a point blank double tap to the chest from a .38, and one shot to the head from a .22. By Ducky's estimation, he died instantly.

"Of course I shall have more definitive answers for you after I get him home for an autopsy," Ducky proclaimed.

Tony crouched down to Ziva's level.

"You know, if you ever want help following or spying on someone, let me know. I can show you all the tricks of the trade," Tony offered with a chuckle.

Ziva smiled back.

"Thank you, Tony. I may just take you up on that.

Tony rode back to the Navy Yard with Gibbs, leaving a very relieved McGee to drive Ziva back. Tony had mentioned that Ziva now knew their secret, so he could finally relax and he was no longer under threat of getting his ass kicked. McGee responded by hugging Tony before grabbing the truck keys from his hand.

"What exactly did you tell Ziva, Tony?" Gibbs asked as he set out to top his record time getting back to DC proper from Quantico.

Grabbing the 'oh shit' handle, Tony replied, "Just the basics. That we are together. I didn't get into the specifics. Jesus Gibbs, will you slow down! Um, she promised she won't say anything. Guess she's on our side. That just leaves Vance, and I'm not telling him a damn thing!"

Tony slammed his eyes shut and waited for a likely fatal collision. Gibbs was driving like a mad man.

"Christ Gibbs, you're gonna get us killed! What's the big damn hurry?" Tony asked in a squeaky voice.

Gibbs maintained his focus and with a death grip on the steering wheel replied, "It's getting late and I wanna get you home, and I can't do that until we get back and dump the evidence on Abby. Ducky won't do an autopsy until tomorrow, so we can wait to do reports until then."

Tony sat stunned. Gibbs putting off writing up their reports was unheard of. Maybe there were perks to sleeping with the boss!

Two hours later, a naked Tony was laid out on top of Gibbs' bed pleading for release. Gibbs was doing his best to drive him insane by touching and tasting every inch of his body. Just for kicks, Gibbs had fitted Tony with a cock ring to keep him from coming.

"Dammit Gibbs, fuck me already!" Tony cried out. The intense pleasure was bordering on painful.

"But I'm not ready yet," Gibbs purred in his ear. Tony sobbed.

Then, without warning Gibbs got up and headed for the bathroom leaving Tony alone and whimpering in his wanton state.

A few moments later, Gibbs came back and with a predatory look in his eye climbed back on the bed. He locked eyes with Tony as he unsnapped the cock ring. Tony's relief was short lived because before he could finish a long moan, Gibbs impaled himself.

"OH MY GOD! Gibbs, sweet Jesus, oh my lord," Tony groaned.

"I think you got them all covered," Gibbs teased as he moved up and down, riding Tony's cock like he'd done it a million times. In truth, this was his first time bottoming.

Gibbs' legs began to shake from exertion, so Tony slowly rolled them so that Gibbs was beneath him, begging for more.

"Gibbs, we've never done this. I mean, we've done _this_ , but not like this. I didn't know, you never said, oh geez you feel so good," Tony panted out as he thrust lazily with long strokes.

Gibbs' eyes were slammed shut as he rode out the pleasure and pain, losing himself in the feel of Tony moving inside him. He opened his eyes to see Tony looking down at him with concern.

"You okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?" Tony asked.

Gibbs shook his head and took a deep breath.

"No. Just not used to this, but it feels good. Really good. Make me come, Tony," Gibbs said.

Tony smiled then took Gibbs' hard cock in his hand and began stroking it in time to his thrusts. Soon the room was filled with moans, groans, and curses of their love making. Gibbs began to arch his back to meet Tony.

"That's it, so good. Damn, give it to me Gibbs," Tony begged.

Gibbs obliged by coming all over his abs and Tony's hand. Tony was right with him and came deep inside Gibbs.

Standing beneath the soothing spray of the shower, Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony and together they swayed. It was a sensual dance to wash away lather and to connect and ground them.

"Even though I don't say it a lot, you know I love you, right?" Gibbs asked.

Tony beamed.

"Yeah, and I think you just showed me how much," Tony replied before sealing it with a chaste kiss.

"Okay, so Ziver knows. If Palmer doesn't know by now I'll let Ducky fill him in. That just leaves Vance," Gibbs stated.

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll have a lot to say," Tony said with a sigh. "What do you want to do? You think we should tell him instead of him finding out through the grapevine?"

Gibbs nodded.

"Probably, and what do mean grapevine? Who would rat us out?" Gibbs demanded.

"Rat us out? Seriously, who says that? No one _ratted_ us out, but you know how information just gets out and spreads like wildfire. Nothing in that building stays a secret very long," Tony replied with a chuckle.

"Okay. You and me. Tomorrow. Together. We'll tell Vance in the morning. Let him fire me. Or if he threatens to send you afloat again, I'll just quit. I got enough time in to retire."

Tony took a step back and gaped at Gibbs.

"You'd really do that? If Vance made threats you'd quit … for me?" Tony asked.

Gibbs pulled him close and kissed him soundly while shutting off the cooling water.

As they toweled off and pulled on thin flannel pajama pants, Gibbs took Tony's face in his hands.

"Of course I'd quit for you. Tony, when I said I could give you everything I meant it. It wasn't just to get you in bed. I said it to get you into my life. You're worth it, even when you're an idiot," Gibbs declared.

Tony fought back tears and a wave of intense emotion. He threw his arms around Gibbs and held him tight.

"I love you too, Jethro!"

"Are you sure about this," Tony whispered out of the corner of his mouth while tugging at his dress shirt collar. It felt like his favorite suit was trying to choke him.

"Yes I'm sure. Now calm down, I got this," Gibbs replied in a whispered tone, nudging Tony in the side with his elbow.

Vance looked at the pair of agent standing in front of his desk. He had a nagging feeling that the reason for their visit wasn't something he wanted to hear.

"I'm due in MTAC in 10 minutes, so what can I do for you gentlemen? Vance queried.

"You see, it's like this …," Tony began before Gibbs interrupted him.

"DiNozzo and I have been seeing each other for a few weeks. Thought you'd want to know," Gibbs stated simply.

Both Tony and Vance gaped at him, but Gibbs didn't so much as flinch at the scrutiny.

"Real subtle, Boss," Tony muttered.

"Yes, subtle indeed. I'm sorry Gibbs, but I'm going to need a few more details. For God's sake nothing personal, but what exactly do you mean by "seeing each other"?" Vance asked, shaking his head.

Tony groaned and dropped down into one of the leather chairs that surrounded the conference table.

Gibbs rolled his shoulders and stated his case.

"Okay, we're dating. Does that explain better for 'ya?"

Vance's eyebrows shot up. He noticed that Tony looked like he wanted to hide under the table. He grinned. He didn't have a problem with two men dating or whatever they wanted to call it, but with these two particular men he wanted to have a little fun at their expense.

"And you want my blessing?"

Tony groaned.

Gibbs cocked his head and glared.

"No, we just thought you should know. We don't really care what you think. No one on the team has a problem. I just want to make sure _you_ won't decide to do something stupid and send DiNozzo afloat again," Gibbs said.

Vanced pushed away from his desk and stood. He buttoned his suit jacket and walked around his desk. He looked from stoic Gibbs to panicked Tony and cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen, in the years I've been here I have witnessed just about everything. This is a first. Now, before agent DiNozzo has a heart attack, let me just offer my congratulations," Vance said as he extended his hand to Gibbs.

Tony recovered from his shock admirably quick and stood. He shook Vance's offered hand and smiled at Gibbs.

"You … you're really okay with this?" Tony dared ask.

"Trust me, if I weren't okay with this none of us would still be standing here. All I'm gonna ask is that you keep your private business private. I don't want any lovers spats getting in the way of you doing your jobs. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Tony mumbled.

Gibbs half-smirked.

"Okay, then. Unless and until _this_ causes a problem, I don't see the need to make any changes. However, if a problem does come up, well we'll have to move one of you. But something tells me that's not going to be a problem. Now, I'm supposed to be in MTAC and I'm waiting on reports from yesterday. I'm sure you can show yourselves out?"

Tony was fine during the walk through Vance's outer office and down the hall. He was okay standing and waiting for the elevator, but the second the car arrived and the doors closed and he and Gibbs descent down to Abby's lab began he sprang into action. Tony beat Gibbs to the stop switch then proceeded to throw his arms around Gibbs in a rib-crushing hug. Gibbs laughed as he managed to peel Tony off of him. Once Tony quit bouncing in place, Gibbs did the only thing he could think of to calm him down; he claimed Tony's lips in a brutal but very loving kiss.

Tony swayed with a stupid grin on his face as Gibbs set the elevator back in motion. The ding announcing their arrival at their destination was followed by Gibbs mumbling, "Idiot," just as the doors opened.


End file.
